27 years by 27 years

I have known B, for almost two years. She is funny, whip smart and will always actively listen, even when you talk in circles. We always would talk about our plans, all our best laid plans and if you’ve listened to the first episode of Our False Starts, you’ll have heard about how those best laid plans and following the rules don’t always (or ever) pan out.

B and I have both tried to follow so many rules, we both had so many plans and they, well, if you know either of us you know e’re living lives we never imagined.

I’ve learned a lot in my short life, especially once I started thinking, feeling and living for myself and so the latter years have been more knowledge heavy, as I’ve had a lot of learning to catch up on.

Here are some of the things I’ve learned in these 27 years.

27 things I’ve learned by 27

Every bad day is not a reflection of you, it’s how you wake up the next morning that counts

Your choices will reflect you and your values in the long run, make sure you understand what you’re choosing

Transparency is the only way

Authenticity has to come from your heart, it cannot come from your mind or it will seem forced and false

Platonic intimacy is the most underrated form of intimacy. Kiss your friends. Hold them close.

Your feelings are your own, learn to see when you’re projecting onto others

Be open; with experience, with knowledge and with truth

We all showed up in this journey with nothing, we will leave with nothing

You will lose people you thought you would love forever, the universe brings people and lessons in seasons – have gratitude for the time they spent on this journey with you

Your body is m a g i c

And by that, I mean it is so much more than a number, a shape or a size chart

Finding gratitude can be hard, if you go long enough the universe will remind you to be grateful

You have privilege, acknowledging it is the only prologue

Find your people, never let them go

Eat the damn donut

Dance it out. Mer and Christina were right – it does clear the head and heal the heart

Always remember where you came from, but don’t let it define you

Move your body in ways that feel good for you in that moment, yesterday’s skin is gone and today may need something else

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent; Eleanor Roosevelt and Princess Diaries teach more life lessons than you first thought

There is a limit to what you can control, learn what those limits are and LET THEM GO

If you have a chance to travel, take it and think about the consequences later

When all else fails, find the water

It’s okay if you can’t meditate without thinking about your to-do lists or work, do it anyway – it will get easier

Pleasure is 100% your right and you deserve to find what works for you – it’s a personal journey first

Pee after sex!!

Love is not always enough, but if it’s what you started with and you build FROM love you’ll never question it

You are valid, your identity is yours to discover, yours to share and yours to live authentically and beautifully

Letter from the editor

We just wanted to take a moment to thank Kellum Jaymes for sharing their story, their ideas and their perspective. Thank you for trusting us with your voice and for embracing our community with open arms.

Our False Starts is a community and a collective with voices around the world. If you ever wish for your voice to be heard, do not be afraid to reach out – let’s have a conversation.