Privilege Exists: let’s talk about it

This is probably my third or fourth time trying to write this week’s fresh perspective. While the first two attempts were very real, raw and unedited – they stemmed from a place of anger and pain. And while the anger is justified, I don’t know that it’s the best way for me to get my point across. If Our False Starts is a place for conversation, then it would be wrong of me to shy away from this one. Privilege exists – let’s talk about it.

On Wednesday morning I opened my eyes, surfed a few social sites and was forced, incredibly against my will, to watch a man’s (read: black man’s) life s l o w l y be taken from him. I shut off my phone, woke up my laptop and logged in to my uncle’s (read: another black man’s) virtual funeral. What did you do?

#TrayvonMartin

Before we move on, I need to make a few things very clear. I will be touching on the idea of white privilege, but won’t be honing in on it. There’s more to privilege than white privilege, so if you fear you’ll be attacked – you won’t be. As for my overall stance on the injustices around the world, in case it needed to be said – black lives matter. While I agree that all lives matter, for that statement to ring true than black lives must, also, matter.

I also, don’t believe in the idea of “I don’t see colour”. In fact, I want you to see the colour of my skin and understand that there are layers and traumas and truths that come with it.

I, tactfully, waited until today to share this, simply because it’s wrong to have the conversation last for only a day. In the age of fast news, my game is the long one. My goal is to be that constant thorn at your side that reminds you that you and I may be different, and that’s okay. But your ability to blindly ignore those differences, is not. In fact, your ability to read this brief excerpt and then choose not to read the full thing, while moving on with your day is a privilege.

I will also be reminding you, to say their names.

#PhilandoCastile

Plot twist: it is okay to have privilege. Shocking, I know. With everything going on and the outcries of people pouring out against the injustices, I’m sure some of you may feel like you’re being crucified simply for existing. (I will, lovingly, choose not to point out the irony of that statement but if you don’t see it, that’s another hint at your privilege. To be clear, the onus is not on me to do the work for you, but to continue to do the work with you.)

In theory, I understand where you may be coming from. You can’t be held responsible for the life you were born into, nor can we be condemned for the hand of cards we’ve been dealt. It is okay to have privilege. The issue, however, stems from an insistence to benefit from your privilege. Even if the benefit is as small as closing your eyes to the world around you.

#SandraBland

You’ll notice the headings are names, that you need not forget. People are not crying over one death. People are not shouting about one incident. These wounds pierce far deeper, than the current headline of George Floyd – because let’s be real, we’ve reduced him to a headline. Remember what had been said? One death is a catastrophe, but 100 becomes a statistic. Let me take a quick second to publicly condemn those of you that felt at ease sharing a video of a man’s last moments. The ease in which you had forgetting that this was a man with a family, and using that picture as a tabloid push, makes me ill. George Floyd was a human being that died with a knee on his neck, and a crowd of people watching.

A friend of mine said it best: we’re experiencing a pandemic within a pandemic.

#BreonnaTaylor

It may be easier for you to acknowledge your privilege, if I acknowledge my own so I’m going to do just that. I am about to devalue the entire premise of Our False Starts.

Think about it. The ability to “choose” a perspective or narrative, is its own privilege. My stresses have been manageable enough that I’ve been awarded the luxury of looking back at what I’ve gone through and chalking it up to destiny. I had a poll and 97% of people said that life was choice over destiny – that idea is a privilege. There are people living lives far worse than ours that don’t have the luxury or privilege of time to consider such thoughts. The ability to consider that choice, is a privilege. I knew that when I started this, and I had a hard time justifying this platform.

You are not being condemned for your privilege, you are being condemned for how you wield it.

#EricGarner

I get it. It’s tough and tiring. We aren’t the ones killing people, we don’t support the deaths – I honestly get it. It feels unfair because, in theory, you’ve done nothing wrong. All you’ve done was be born into a world that is the way it is and you just don’t want to get involved. I mean, I wish I could do the same. You don’t have to set out to change the world, but you can set out to change a moment.

The more voices that speak, the louder it will be – no?

In Canada, where I’m assuming most of you are from, I’m sure you’ve led yourself to believe that the injustices here, pale in comparison to the injustices in America. We are nowhere near faultless, that’s for sure. But most importantly, we just exude it in different ways.

Welcome to the world of micro-aggressions. And these exist. These exist, these are harmful, these are felt. Do you know why I know that? Because in February of this year, I had a meeting with individuals I work with to talk about the fact that I felt attacked, isolated and threatened at my place of employment, solely because of the colour of my skin.

#AhmaudArbery

“Fine,” you say. “I get it, I have privilege. I acknowledge it. Are we done?” Not a chance. You read this, to this point and that’s an impressive first step. All anyone can ask of you, is to stop shying away from the conversation. Don’t read this, close it and continue scrolling through Instagram to get through your day – jump into the conversation. If you have questions, ask them. If you have thoughts, speak them. I know that sometimes it seems like the world wants you to be the loudest voice, but you need not be. You just have to be a voice. If we all speak, it would be loud enough. People are only yelling because it seems like the silence is speaking loudest.

More specifically – have the conversation in the spaces that someone like me may not be a part of.

#GeorgeFloyd

Know that you are not alone in your privilege. The ability to write, instead of riot – is a privilege. I was born into my own form of privilege and it’s okay to acknowledge it. But you are alone in your ability to continue using it to your sole advantage.

If you leave this feeling attacked and embarrassed, instead of understanding of the pain that is piercing through a community you may not be a part of – ice your ego, check your privilege at the door and know that you are in the process of doing the work. The conversations will continue to be difficult, but push past that discomfort. Keep doing the work, keep asking the questions, keep using the voice that you were born into. Let’s acknowledge that our privilege, in whatever form it comes, comes at the price of others and to be okay with that is unjust. Push your unearned privilege to the side and do the work.

To my friends that think they’re faultless because they aren’t black and they aren’t white and they just choose not to engage in these conversations – your same silence is deafening. This is truly a matter of privilege. Not just white privilege. I know you think you’re sliding under the radar, so let me be very clear: we see your silence and we understand what it means. I hope you do too.

Listen. Share in a way that is real and is true to you. It doesn’t have to be as loud as everyone else. I, personally, stand on the side of being loud because enough is enough – however, I understand if that’s not you. But if you are simply choosing to close your eyes and wait for this to blow over… There is a problem.